The most wonderful time of the year. Or so they say. I figured whomever wrote that song either was toasted during the holidays and had no idea what was going on, OR never had 3 kids or any for that matter. Running around in a panic for a solid 25 days isn't my idea of the "hap-happiest season of all". Between Christmas programs, cookie making, shopping in the sub-zero temps with 20mph winds whipping around you while trying to lug 3 kids to finding that "perfect gift" only to find out that ISN'T what you mother wanted (no... she wants the Ninja - some blender that promises to do everything but to clean your toilet... If it did clean your toilet however, I would already have it in my own home working away!) really doesn't embody the joyous season the song is describing. Yup, I'm Ebenezer Scroogen' it already. I don't think I would be as bitter if I hadn't had to cancel a long list of get togethers (most recently my "moms who need some time to just sit" movie night) due to my lack of time.
To add fuel to my grumpy little fire, I tried desperately to get a good family photo for our Christmas cards this year. Ok. I'll be a little more honest. "Good" was not what I was looking for. Nope. I was looking for me to resemble something like Heidi Klum (I didn't think it was too much to ask. She has a bunch of kids and still manages to look like a vision!). And for Sean, well, I've always thought of him as the lead singer of Maroon 5. His recent mission to grow out his hair a little though has smothered that little fantasy (but he's still quite a looker in my book). I figured that could be remedied with his GORGEOUS smile. And as for the kids, well, had really high hopes there. I mean, they're truly beautiful in every way and even though I had a tough time getting them in front of the lens, surely since my dad was taking the picture, all would be well. You know what is coming. You know that the foreshadowing is oozing out of this story. So, where do I begin?
For starters, we're late. Of course we're late. Why wouldn't we be? I've permanently been 15 minutes behind in life since Aubrey entered left stage. Late wasn't too bad though. Things really started to get stressful though when my hair decided that it needed to disobey and give me a nice frizz look (really, it was fitting for the way I was feeling). And then, what is that?! Oh, that is just 2 inches of growth since my last dying episode. Fine. So, I'm not going to look like Heidi Klum. There was still the redeeming fact that my family is so good looking that people will look at them and not me. Let the floodgates open. First, Christian decided (without my knowledge) that snow boots were perfect attire for a formal picture. Jamie lost her cardigan. Aubrey puked down her dress within .10 seconds of getting it on and her hair bow got lost. Sean looked great but felt the need to tell me that my shirt was orange NOT red like everyone else. I of course argued this fact until Sean brought out the kids crayons only to match my shirt to the "Red Orange" color. Gee. Thanks Crayola.
Things only snowballed from there. Ever try to take a picture with 5 people in it? One of which is under the age of 1?! Let me tell you. It's no picnic. And it didn't help matters that my dad is slower than his driving at taking these pictures. Me? I'm like paparazzi. The finger is clicking those pictures so fast, it's practically smoking by the end. My dad? About one every 60 seconds. So, once my mom got Aubrey to look at the camera, dad was a little late on the draw. He was also shocked when I said I wanted more than 3 to chose from. Ahhh... Love ya Dad!
Here is the end result (with Christian's boot sloppily Photoshopped out). Heidi isn't here. Nor is the dude from Maroon 5 (because Sean didn't SMILE!!!!). Are we all 5 in it? Yes. And at the end of it all, that is what mattered.
For all the ranting and raving, there is a point to this whole blog. That night, after all the running and frustration of not looking like we have it all together in our family photo, I went through the bag my mom had sent home with me. Mainly bits and pieces of the kids that they had left behind and bits and pieces of myself that had gotten left behind were just waiting to be put away. But in the bottom of the bag there was a little something that was about to remind me what was so "happy" about this time of year. A little knit mailbox ornament. Most people would consider it junk, but upon seeing it, I was in tears. This mailbox is Christmas to me. With Grandma's passing in October, I huge part of my heart has been missing. The final chapter to my childhood is written and the book is closed. But here was part of my childhood back again. This was my favorite ornament that Grandma had. Me and my cousins would write little notes back and forth to each other and stick them inside. When the flag was up, it was pretty thrilling. Even Grandma participated sometimes.
So, it got me to thinking. When had Christmas gotten so crazy? Lately, every year it passes, I'm left wondering where it went and longing to feel the joy that once was. I have now made up my mind. I'm quitting the craziness. I WILL focus on what this Christmas season means. I WILL be more like my little sister who cries every time she sees little Baby Jesus in His manger. Such a beautiful time of the year. Please join me in remembering what were supposed to be celebrating.
Merry Christmas from the Kosciuszko Family!
