"I Promise You What I Promised Moses..."

‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you ... No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous.' I set foot on new land yesterday. New land of a new part of my life. A land that to some would be fruitless, dry and without hope and yet I do not see it like that. It is dry, but dry is not always bad (trust me... the skies opened yesterday and blessed us with 5 1/2 inches of rain over night! Eeeeek!). Fruitless and without hope? Nothing could be further from the truth. As I sit in the waiting room, I ponder what exactly I will be walking into. There was a lot of pondering to be had seeing as I managed to be the last to have an appointment and they were running even further behind than usual. In my purse sit the pieces to the puzzle of my health. Leave it to me to make everything complicated. Inconclusive seems to be the theme of my life lately. After entering the examination room I have to sit quite a bit longer and use that time to claim my land. My life is my land and whatever comes and goes out of my land is mine. The good, the bad and the ugly. Mine. And I have a feeling this was going to be the ugly. The doctor enters the room and immediately my brain pops up on the computer screen. Something funny about when you look at your brain. My first reaction is, "Oh good. It's there.". No lie. My second reaction is, "Wow that sucker is ugly!". And then I force myself to tune into what the neurologist is telling me. He's pointing at these white spots on my brain. That isn't good. He's telling me things that I had heard before but was hoping he wouldn't be repeating. 100% there is some sort of autoimmune disorder. 99% sure it's MS. More brain scans, more blood work... I'm zoning at this point. I knew this was coming and I know the next steps. I like him. He is kind and carries an old fashioned doctors bag with all of his "tools". It reminds me of something my dad would do. I realize he has stopped and asked me a question. I've been zoned and have no idea what it was, so I ask him to repeat it. "Are you okay? I mean, you have put on such a brave face this entire time. But now I need to know if you're okay.". I had to think for a second. Am I okay? I search my soul. Deep down in every little tunnel where some sort of panic could come out of hiding and cause a melt-down. Nope. Nothing. I'm a little sad that he isn't contradicting what all the other doctors had told me, but I really felt okay. "Yes. I'm okay.". This morning I strap on my running shoes. Happy to be using my legs. Happy to have legs. My legs are part of my land. So is my brain. So is everything that is a part of me. My house, my friends, my city, my family. It is a beautiful run and I notice the calm after the literal storm. I notice life. So, I quick grab my camera and take pictures of life. Nothing new or earth shattering as far as photography goes, but they're just so pretty to me this morning. I didn't edit them. Just let them be. After all, God's creation needs no help from me to make it beautiful. Out of all of this, this is what I now know: I am strong. I am very courageous and the Lord my God is with me on my land.

If Only I Was a Cool Kid...

I remember the smell like it was yesterday. The smell of crayons, scissors, glue. The smell of new school supplies. The smell of school. To me it was the worst smell in the world and it still to this day, makes my stomach instantaneously turn. I hated school and not because I wasn't the best math student in the world. I was born wanting to fit in. Be normal. Be social. But instead I was born insecure, short, shy and went through the "uglys" with the worst of them. Don't believe me? Well, believe me. I'm not one for lying. This brings me to the lack of blogging I have done. My last blog was referred to as "cryptic" by a good friend and for good reason. I was pondering life, as I often do, and wasn't sure how to express the big life changes that are inevitable. Not bad changes, but for the most part I'm a pretty predictable person. So, finding out that we're moving across the state by summer and having my 30th birthday breathing down my back left me to ponder my life a bit. And with my life comes my photography. I can't help it... although it doesn't define me, it is part of my definition and how I present my website and my branding screams who I am. My intention was to not blog until the new website was up. Start from scratch. Delete all my posts and redirect you to my new shiny website. Oh the website. What website? Just the website that this dear patient friend/web designer has miraculously not murdered me over yet. It sits unfinished because every time I try to complete it, I am transferred back to grade school and all of the insecurities that go with it. Is it cool? Is it going to make people like me more or hate me? These questions keep me up all night... But then, I went to Chicago a few weeks back. I went to see Jasmine Star.

I thought I was going to be going to a photography conference about how to build a better business, better workflow and if I was lucky, some tips on branding. Was I ever wrong!

Instead, we were all bonded over the topic of struggle. Yes, we struggle. Every artist struggles and on a weekly basis (if not daily basis) we ask ourselves if this is worth it. There is literal blood, sweat and tears (oh so many tears!) that go into this industry. This got me thinking. Thinking that no matter what people think of my website, it is me. And then, in one of those moments that you hear something that couldn't possibly come from your simple mind, this came to me... "Your clients are a gift from God and if they're meant to be your clients, then God will get them to you regardless of how your website looks.". Wow. Thanks God!

Home

I was mentioning to my husband the other day how funny it is when a major life event happens and you can suddenly look back over the last several months and realize how the Lord has been preparing you for what is about to happen. Things that change your heart, your mind, your perspective. It creeps up on you and changes you without welcome or realization. It is slowly becoming clear to me over time. Why this or that didn't happen. Why He has chosen now to shake things up a bit and says, "Did you mean it? Did you mean it when you said you would trust me and know that what I have for you is far greater than your mind could ever comprehend?". It is one of those moments. One of those times and although I cannot share what exactly has me reflecting in such a manner right at this time, I will tell you that it is big. And it could get even bigger. It is mostly good, but even if bad comes riding on the coattails of this moment in my life, I know that He has promised me that All things work together for good...". I trust that. With all this revolution going on in my life, it has forced me to reflect. Today the snow is (finally!) falling softly and quietly outdoors. It calls for an Indian Spice Chai Tea brewed in my new Keurig (thanks to the hubs - Merry Christmas to me!)and a quiet moment (scarce with the kids on Christmas break) to think. I looked at the Christmas tree and the eclectic assortment of ornaments on it. Any interior decorator would probably scoff at the mishmosh of decorations and the way that they're all bunched at the children's eye level, but for me it captures our family and our personality perfectly. I like us. I like our home. I like who we are growing to be. So, I figured I would share some pictures of our home today. Nothing thrilling or exciting. Just us in a nutshell.

Indian Summer with Kids

I took complete advantage of the indian summer we had the past week and a half. It was perfection! Colors were spectacular and the temperature around 75 degrees on average. Ummmm.... yes please! Can we schedule this again for next year Mother Nature??? In all my busyness, I managed to squeeze in a session with my sister and her family. There is no lacking personality in this group of five. That is for sure. I like it though because it makes pictures with personality. The warmth has left and the cold wet days have resumed while we call get prepped and ready for Halloween and the whirlwind of other holidays that almost immediately follow. I'm working desperately to keep up with the whole three posts a week vow and although it could be worse, I feel as though I could drop the ball any day now. Back to my sister and her crazy (in the best way possible) little family. I've blogged about them before, but I cannot believe how big the kids are getting. Life goes by far too quickly.

Keep smiling! ~ Libby

Life Is Under Construction

I wish there were a t-shirt that read "Excuse the mess - She's still under construction". I realize I have been M.I.A., but for good reason. The term "construction" could define a lot that has been going on in my life recently. Physical, mental, spiritually... it all goes hand-in-hand. There has been a slight struggle on how much of it to share. I have a rather large wall up about what gets put out in internetland for all the world to view and take part in. I'm insanely private and I thought, up until recently, that it was the way to go. Sure, I don't mind sharing funny quotes from the kiddos or my newfound love affair with Nutella, but when it gets any more personal, I tend to shy away. That would be great if I worked as a garbageman or a receptionist at the dentist office, but I run a very personal business. I expect you to invite me into your home or to your wedding and all you know about me is that I love the color turquoise. I didn't realize how much of a problem this was (or at least I refused to acknowledge it) until I had a mentor session with some fab photographers from the west side of the state and we really got down to the nitty-gritty about my business and where I want to go with it. The ever so gray area of the personal blog really made me think that I need to be sharing more with my fans (holla!) if I expect them to share the most important days of their lives with me.

So, from this day forward... I, Libby K., do solemnly swear to blog at least 3 times a week (I'm mentally cringing) and talk more about me and what goes on in my life rather than just telling you about random things that I have eaten. *whew* *forehead wipe* That wasn't so bad!

Allow me to begin with posting pictures of myself that were take by Bryan and Mae at my mentor session. Holy cow did I dread being in front of the camera and my dear friends, I completely get why you're so nervous when I stick YOU in front of my lens. Enjoy the pictures, share the love with Bryan and Mae because they're fantastic folks and enjoy getting to know me and why I love photography the way I do.

Keep smiling :)



I had to put the picture of my boots on here because I have a slight love affair with them. It is more for my sister than anything :)

When Taking Pictures...

A little advice for my fellow photographers. No matter how cute your kids, never - I repeat NEVER take photos of your own children. There will be whining, possible tears, temper tantrums and attitude by the truckloads. And that is just from you. However, if you have adorable nieces and nephews, click away. Hire someone else to tackle your kids. I have heeded my own advise (with the exception of having another photographer deal with my kids and therefore have no up-to-date pictures of my offspring) and had a quick 10 minute session with my sister's kids and look how gorgeous they are!

Whats Love Got To Do With It? Everything.

I can't recall the weather (although I'm pretty sure it was much like today), I can't really recall what I wore (probably something I no longer own) and I can't fully recall who was there (which is really bad because it was only a handful of people.). But I do recall how I felt. Sure, I was in love. FYI: You're supposed to be in love when you get married ;) More importantly, I felt calm. I knew this was the right thing. I knew that man I was saying "I do" to loved me more than anything else in this world. I knew that he loved my daughter and would take care of her no matter what. I knew that we would be the old couple still walking hand-in-hand down the street. It couldn't feel more right...

Fast forward 6 years. Here we are. A mortgage, 3 kids and a minivan later. Romance kill? Perhaps. There aren't chocolates and roses everyday followed by tender "I love you" moments. Nope. It's "Here, I know that she's poopy, but could you just change her so I can run a brush through my hair before we leave?" or "How long has this bottle been shoved underneath the car seat?" to one of my personal favorites "What is in that Tupperware container? Ugh! I'm not opening it! YOU open it!". Trust me - I'm not complaining. It's called reality. We live it everyday and quite honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the biggest most beautiful rose gardens in the world or the Hershey's factory (well, I would probably debate for a moment - especially on the really bad days, but I know that my life would win in the long run...).

I loved him when I married him, but I love him more today. There have been many moments that I have taken time to reflect on what an incredible person he is and felt completely unworthy. He has taken a little girl that he didn't have to love, care or provide for and given her his last name. He has given life to my dream as a photographer. Even more recently, he carried the coffin of the grandma that I loved so dearly to her resting place and hugged me and patiently loved me through all the tears.

He loves me in spite of me. You can't ask for more than that. Happy 6 year anniversary to My Love!